Mom, I hate to say this but the medication you looked up for me is the right one, I just spelled it wrong. It’s a little brown pill. Don’t worry, I stopped taking it. Medications are vicious. That’s why I don’t take just anything. If I feel they are giving me too much of my seizures meds for the epilepsy I won’t take them. Too much will hurt me. Things will get better, it just that it hurts too much before they do. I didn’t know you would have to take your medication for the rest of your life. ( Sonni’s note: anti rejection meds for my liver transplant. This letter was written just four months after my surgery and two weeks after my back fractured. He was such a support for me during this time.) That sucks. Trust me I know. But it’s good your doses have been lowered. Balancing medications is the main priority of Doctors. Everyone is on medications of some sort. You know Mom, it hurts to know you are going through so much. The high risk, the burnt stomach lining. It hurts because the medication you are taking is also high risk because of the side effects. Also because you have to have it. Don’t worry mom, because I know how that feels, too. We both are strong and have dealt with it today so we know we can get through another. That’s just how strong we are. We can do it together. Do we have a choice? Lol
Mom, these people don’t know what the hell they are doing. They are just here. The first doctor I seen told me about my infection as I told her about my pain. Then I seen another doctor and he told me I didn’t have an infection. and that nothing was wrong with me. I asked him if he thought I was lying about my pain, and I told him that another doctor said it was an infection. I asked him if that lady was lying and he said, ” I didn’t say that.” I told him that somebody was lying and I know it wasn’t me. I could tell by his face he was mad. Who gives a shit? He don’t care about me. He’s here to waste time and get paid.
It got worse when I had to have my wisdom tooth pulled. I was told after about the nerve that goes around the ear. Fun huh? Remember I told you about having to wait to have my wisdom tooth pulled? Well, on the first week of this month I left on what they the call medical chain, to a unit in Huntsville that has a hospital on it. It took two days to get to the unit. It takes so long because they pick up and drop off to other units at the same time. Oh, we sometimes ride on a bus the call a Blue Bird or a van. I rode on both. That van is so uncomfortable. They really make it hard on us. They have us elbow to elbow in the van. On the bus if you’re not from Ad Seg you are cuffed to someone else. Yes, they pair everyone up. I’m sure you might be wondering about having to relieve ourselves. There’s a toilet so that means if someone has to go the other has to go too. Crazy huh? Sorry, I wondered off.
When I got to the hospital I had to wait because there was others in front of me. So I had to wait two more days. When I went in for the surgery they did x-rays. The photos showed up on the computer. The one I was going to get pulled was growing sideways and was cutting my gums. The dentist saw the top back left one and was like wow. I asked what was wrong and he showed me the photo. You could see all my teeth perfect and he showed me and it was flat! The word he used was, deformed. So he asked if I wanted it removed. I was going to ask him if he would anyway. They don’t allow them to pout us to sleep. they just numb it. Mom, he was on it for two hours! When he finally got it out the tooth had four roots! It came out in five different pieces, All that pulling and pushing and drilling. I held on but I almost passed out. Then bottom one hurt as well. He had to do a little more cutting. I felt it too. We had to stop. Mom, I’m in so much pain. It took me four days to get back because of the weekend. The first five days the hospital was giving me Tylenol with codeine for pain before and during the surgery. Now I’m back in my own unit and their best meds are Ibuprophen. They think that and water helps everything.
So I’ve been sleeping a lot to try and get away from the pain. ( Not helping ) This is the bad part here, mom. It hurts to chew and drink because my tongue is swollen. However they have me eating solid food when I’m supposed to be on a soft diet but the doctors here won’t give it to me. I’ll eat sometimes and sometimes I won’t. I try not to give these people what they want so I just deal with it the best I can. Just know that if the pain becomes too much I’m gonna try the right way first to get help. If I don’t get help there is only one other way.
I wish I could see how beautiful the days are outside. The sun and short walks really sound good. We both would walk until we ache too much. Its cold down this way as well. A jacket would be nice. I’m cold during the day and night because these crazy people keep the air on.
( Sonni’s note: It’s not that they keep the air on, they have no heat. So they freeze during the winter and in the summer they roast because there is no air conditioning. I also know, from other letters that the pain he went through before he even got the ok to see a dentist was brutal. This wasn’t the fact of having a toothache and having an appointment made which is what we, on the outside do. He was left to suffer for a long time before arrangements were made.
We think it barbaric if we know of someone who treats their animals in this fashion. But it’s ok to treat humans like this because the people inside want to make them suffer? There’s no other reason that I can think of. Do the guards and other higher ups get some kind of perverse pleasure in letting the inmates suffer in pain? Tooth pain is one of the worst pains we experience.
It’s common knowledge that the prisons don’t like to pay for medical care. It cuts into their bottom line and CCA, the corporation responsible for their medical care does have shareholders that want their cut of the profit. So let’s wait and see if that medical problem will just go away instead. Meantime, people suffer.)