( note from Sonni: This is taken from several letters written a more than two years ago. The situation with medications hasn’t changed. Prisons will only do what they absolutely have to. They only want to take care of medical issues they absolutely have to. Anything that affects their profit margin or affects the profit of the shareholders who invest in the prison corporations is going to make decisions that benefits them, not the inmates. Anyone on the outside who thinks they have it great inside because they have “free healthcare” has no idea what that healthcare really is. Letting someone suffer in extreme pain is perfectly acceptable. That’s because they doing at inmates as deserving humans. They only do what they must and nothing more. I read an article not long ago about a doctor who refused to come any closer than five feet to an inmate for fear of “catching” something. How can you examine a person when you refuse to touch him? That doctor should have studied for a different career.

I also read an article where the author was ranting on about all this free medical care inmates get that was taking money out of the state coffers, and it was hurting everybody else. She said the inmates were demanding and getting frivolous procedures done using state of the art equipment at the expense of our children because money spent on medical care for inmates could be spent on education. Take from one human to give to a more deserving human. That fixes both problems, doesn’t it? Yes, we should do this because inmates aren’t really people who have any value as human beings and not worth taking care of. The US has more prisoners than any other country. We lock up anyone we can, often when they have nothing to do with a crime that has been committed, but that is a topic for a later post. There are many people who shouldn’t even be there, along with people who should. Now these people with medical problems need to be taken care of. Needless to say, the article made me very angry. )
How are you, mom? Fine I hope. As for me, well let’s just say I’m not doing too well. I’ve been going through a lot with these people. They’re not giving me my medication like they’re supposed to. No one is trying to help me. Things have been going kinda downhill for me. I’ve been having seizures lately. The last one I had to stay in the ER for hours with an IV in my arm. I have not been feeling very well. I don’t know what’s wrong. They can’t get my blood levels to be steady. They’re either too high or too low. I think they’re switching my medication around just to test different things on me. They give me meds and then two weeks later they give me different ones of another color, but they say they’re the same thing. I can’t stop taking them cause if I do they will take me off them, meaning all medication. So I have no choice.

This isn’t my only problem. I found out that my mom was in a car wreck. She broke her collar bone and had to have surgery. I was mad, hurt and real upset with everyone. I was hurt that no one thought to write and tell me what happened. I had to wait for weeks to find out. I’m hurt right now, I really am. To tell the truth I’ve had some crazy stuff on my mind lately. I have no way to let off this steam. I have lots of stress built up in me right now and it’s hurting me bad, mom. I’m losin’ it bad and I know it’s gonna hurt me sooner or later. I need some help and advice please. I need you and Megan right now. I wish we could have spent more time together as a family. It’s been four years since I’ve seen Megan and the kids and it hurts bad. I did it to myself and I really feel the pain for what I’ve done. ( Sonni’s note: Another year and a half passed before he got another visit – from anyone.)

(Later) I think I got things straightened out with my meds but it took me having yet another seizure to get it done. I bit my lip hard and there’s blood everywhere. It was all on my face and hands. I’m ok, though, so don’t worry! The system is lousy at taking care of anyone in it. No, health issues don’t help with parole. Not in Texas. They do have one law that will release you from prison. You have to be close to death. The only reason they do that is because it costs them too much money to take care of that person so they let them go.

(Soon after) I’ve been getting into it again with these people about my medication. They are trying to give me something and I don’t know what it is. Hell, they don’t even know what it is. I got two different nurses telling me its two different medications. I’ve asked to speak to the doctor but they won’t let me. The pills are the same mgs but they are two different colors. Not only that. One has powder in the capsule and the other one is a hard pill. Something’s not right about this. One of the nurses told me Huntsville uses us as lab rats to test medications from pharmaceutical companies. So I stopped taking it. I’m not going to be a guinea pig.

( 6 months later ) Wow lots to talk about! I guess ill start with the anti-depressant. They’ve had me on so many different meds it’s crazy. I’ve been on about four or five different ones. Now they have me on Thorazine. I had to stop taking it. It makes me dizzy, lightheaded. I asked once if we could have a book on medications. The doctors are quick to put us on a med and not tell us anything about it except to say, “See if this helps. If not, put in a sick call.” They are in such a rush to get us out of their office. These meds they put me on, if it wasn’t upsetting my stomach , it gave me terrible headaches. One had me where I couldn’t use the bathroom. I’m feeling bad. Oh how I hate feeling bad. I recently had a real bad ear infection and all they would give me was an ibuprophen. I laid on my bunk with my head and my ear hurting real bad. Before I go I want to say, keep your head up. Stay strong. It won’t be long till you have your liver transplant, and I will do my best. I’ll keep trying. I think I’m going to call it a day. Thank you for your love and keeping me up on things. I love you mom .

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