It’s 1pm and man is it hot! The sun is really beating down on this place. One of the dudes was playing with me yesterday and acted like he was going to bite me! I stopped and asked him what the hell he was doing. He told me, “Were all cooking in this hot ass place and I looked like I was done! I told him, just cause the skin is dark it doesn’t mean I’m done. Lmao!
I try to have a laugh here and there because things are starting to get real rough. I get my G2 in 90 days and the road is starting to toughen up on me. It’s as if I’m being picked at. Not just by officers but by other dudes in here as well. I don’t want to stay G4 and I sure don’t want to do all my time. However, I won’t let anyone run me over.
I have a lot of stress on me. I’m upset that I’m this close to home and no one is trying to bring my son to me. I’m trying to stay away from trouble but it manages to find me. I got into it with an officer. I was looking for my ID in my cell. We have to have it when we go to chow. Well, this female officer slams my cell door shut! I called and called her and she kept walking. So I called to the other officer. He comes to the cell door and yells “What?!!” I tried to talk to him but just kept yelling over me, “Do you have a razor in your hand?” I tell him, “Fuck no” and yell back at him, “Why are you yelling at me?” He walks off. Well, as you probably know I did not get to eat. I was inches, just inches from going overboard.
These people don’t like to do shit. When they have to call for anything, like chow, service, shower or med appointments, and you aren’t out of your cell by the time they get to your cell they are going to close the door. They walk fast, closing doors just to rush people. You and I both know they will constantly keep coming at me no matter what.
How’s Ms. Patty and Ms. Carol doing. Please tell them I said hello and ask them to chant for me? The road gets rough when you’re improving.
(Sonni’s note: When you try to change, obstacles come up to hold you down. You need a lot of determination and perseverance to do things differently – to react differently. We’re wired to react a certain way after a lifetime of doing it that way. But it is often that these very reactions are what keeps us down. It’s common to hear the phrase, “It’s just the way I am.” We what we do but we except it as something we can’t change, even if it hurts us. We react a certain way and wish we hasn’t. We might even tell ourselves that next time we will react differently but when it does happen again we react the same way anyway. We can’t change these things about ourselves with wishful thinking. It takes a lot of work and a lot of self reflection to understanding that the way we are, and the environment we live in is a direct result of all the causes we have made in our life. For some it is easier to believe that things happen because something “out there in the universe had a plan for us”. That would be nice. Then wouldn’t have to feel responsible for everything. But as you begin to take charge of your life and as you begin to make changes, it is the start of your “human revolution”.)
I received a visit from Melvin. I really needed it We talked and chanted. We had a good time, but he noticed that something was wrong with me. I explained about how I felt not being able to see my son. It really hurts me. It’s hurts bad when I hear others talk about their son, saying that he just turned this or that age. Then I say my son just turned eight but I haven’t seen him in almost a year. Lol, the jokes on me.
I read an article in the newspaper I’d like you to read it. I have a copy of it but they probably wouldn’t let me send it to you. Maybe you could look it up. It’s in USA Today on Aug 15, 2014. The title is “Yep, Slavery is still legal” by Jim Liske. He’s the president of Prison Fellowship.
Did you hear about Gov Rick Perry? He was indited for trying to force the DA out of office. I hope he’s convicted so he can get a taste of what he’s putting us through.
Tell Megan I want to hear from her soon. It’s been too long. It’s not right!!