I try to do good and stay out of trouble so I can improve, but even when I do that trouble still seems to find me. I wonder why this happens to me? I feel like every time I get to talking about how good I’ve been doing something always seems to happen. Just like the officer who said I threatened him. It’s hard in here for a lot of people because of some of the things that officers do. They write up cases on you and there is nothing you can do about it. Oh, you can try, but the other officers always stand up for them, or say they never saw anything even if they did. It doesn’t do any good to file an appeal when it happens and it usually gets you in more trouble if you do.
And then there was the time they say I had a knife in my cell. Get this, they found it on the sink. It was a 3″ piece of sharpened metal. It wasn’t hid anywhere. One of the officers had to put it there. I know they did because I didn’t have anything like that. Besides it would’ve been nothing for me to flush it or throw it somewhere if I did have one. Everyone knew they were searching. Would I leave a weapon out like that? That’s stupid. To tell you the truth, I’ve heard this from other inmates and officers, that inmates hide weapons in the vents and window seals. If an inmate has a weapon hid and gets moved to another cell, and they move another inmate in, and he gets busted with the weapon, then he’s the one who gets blamed for it, even if he didn’t know the weapon was there in the first place. That’s just plain wrong!
The officers are supposed to search the cell before they move somebody new in. They are lazy and they don’t care about us, so they just put us in the cell without really checking it over. When they found that knife in my cell, I knew it wasn’t me that put it there. Even if I did, there is no way I would be stupid enough to leave it on the sink. That’s just crazy! And because it was out in the open, it seems to me that it was put there just then because someone wanted to write up a case on me. I was fixing to get my level 1 and now I’m back in level 3. Back in this hot cell in ad seg. Now I have to start all over again. No matter what I do they just keep pulling me down so I have to start over again. I’m pretty sure I know who did this. A captain I’ve been having problems with. The day they found the weapon I was put in the cage. He started smiling at me. I asked him what he was smiling at. He said, “You’ll see.”
That’s the second case they’ve written me up for like this. Sooner or later they are going to try to give me more time. I hope not, but these people don’t want to let anyone go. But I’m not going to take any more time for something I didn’t do. I’ll sit in this hole and do this for 17 years but I won’t let them add more years. Besides, I’m going to pull myself back up from this I can promise you that!
This thing they put me in – the cage? It’s a kind of holding cell. It’s made just like a phone booth. I couldn’t sit down. I stood in it for eighteen hours, from 6 AM to 12 PM. I was there because they were searching my cell. When they were done, they just left me in it. Sounds like fun doesn’t it?
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