How are you? In the best of health as always I hope. Mom, if you can, I need some hygiene. I only have enough toothpaste for a few weeks and enough deodorant for about a week. I have no soap. I’m using little green bars of lye soap ( Sonni’s note: that the prisons make, and you really don’t want to use it on your body. It’s really made of lard and lye and you feel dirtier after you use it than you were before. It’s all the prison will give you for free and you’re supposed to use it to wash your hair and body and use it to shave with. ) that is 1 inch by
1 1/2″. If you can’t, I understand. I will still love ya.
(Sonni’s note: I wonder how his family thinks he is surviving? Does they ever wonder how he is supposed to get the personal items that would make a difference in his day? Do they even think about it? Are they so sure that someone else will do the things they won’t. Family should support family, but I know that isn’t always the case. It’s the little things that make you feel human. The things we take for granted. Why is it so hard for family to remember that a family member is locked up? how hard is it to send a card and say a few lines just to say you are thinking of them? I’m shaking my head. As the years go by it is common for the connection to the outside to get stretched thin to the breaking point. It happens at a time when the communication is needed the most. So I will continue to send him what money I can to help him through, along with a few books and magazine subscriptions. It’s not nearly enough but at least he can get some of the personal items he needs.)
It’s cold down here. It’s only 50, but there’s no heat and the windows are broke out. I sleep in all my clothes, even my jacket and blanket but it’s no good. There’s too many broken windows.
I’ve taken a lot of shit so I can get my G2 and be able to hold my son. You know, I sit in this place so depressed, all because of my actions true. But never did I think that the ones who said they loved me would leave me high and dry. However, there is no pain like the pain one gets from family. They have a life, true indeed, but what mother or family member wouldn’t want to know how her son or brother was doing? Just the other day I had another seizure. They don’t care. They know I have them, but they don’t know how I’m doing afterwards. There have been times I have just sat and cried because I know one day my temper will get the best of me. I be so mad at times I just keep this negative force around me. That’s my problem. It’s the negative reaction I have when I’m depressed and mad.
It’s late and I’m tired but before I go I want you to know this. I’m no Muslim. There are many goals but only one path. I’ve been reading and studying on everything. I can’t speak about something I don’t know. Religion is a BIG subject.
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