Early Morning Pain by Sonni Quick copyright 2015
December 10, 2009
(Sonni’s note: It is still December 2009 4 1/2 years ago, as I continue to read older letters. The sad thing is that it is a letter I could have received today. He was G5 then and he is G5 now. I’ve begun to wonder why it is that there are inmates in some states who are at different level security prisons, yet the offense is the same, or an inmate who committed a far worse crime than Jamie did yet he is in medium security prison where Jamie is in a maximum security. Is it something than an attorney can help with? I don’t know. It took a lot of letters for me to start to understand what it all meant – how hard it was. I knew nothing when I started writing)
I’m now G5 which is 24 hour lockdown. I’ve been back here going on four weeks. life in prison. I’m good in a way because I haven’t been in no trouble. However, I’m also doing bad because they won’t give me any of my property. All I have is sheets, blanket, tissues and a few bars of soap. I don’t have a mattress. They haven’t given me one yet. I’m sleeping on an iron bunk. My back is killing me. My cellie lets me use his every now and then. I have nothing to do. I just sit here looking at the walls. I can’t do any of my studying because I have no books. I no longer get to go to the Islam services. I’ll do all my studying when I get my books back. I don’t know when that will be. It could be a month or two from now.
Mom, in your last letter you asked me if I needed anything. I was going to ask if you would send me a few books. However, I remember saying in a letter she wrote that you are a nice lady and to not take advantage of you. It really hurt me that she would think I would do that to you., so it’s okay about the books, mom, thanks anyway. I know you told me all I needed to do was ask. I told Megan that it hurt that she thought I would do that to you. I would never do that to someone I love, or even someone close to a loved one. Mom, I think she has moved on with her life, so I just want her to tell me that’s all. I don’t want to hold her up if she wants to move on. I just want her to know I really love her. I understand she is having it hard by herself. I can apologize a million and one times but it won’t help bring me back home. I messed up, but at the same time it’s just as hard in here, having someone run your life. People you don’t know who are 5 or 6 years younger than you. It hurts mom, really, to have someone run over you just because they can. There is lack of humanity in here. They enjoy watching you suffer.
Well, I love you mom but I’m going to end this letter. My cellie is an old dick and he’s telling me why I love Megan. He’s been down the same road. I love you, mom. Write back soon please please. TELL MEGAN I LOVE HER PLEASE PLEASE. THANK YOU.
Ask her if her flame for me still burns? If it takes awhile for her to answer please tell me. Then I know she has moved on. Thank you. Sorry it took so long to write back.
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