“Sending All My Love to You” is the latest piece I’ve written and recorded”

December, 2015

seizure webmdcom
photo source: webmd.com

Hello mom,
How are you? Fine and in the best of heath I hope. As for me, things are crazy here as always. On Friday Dec 11 I had to go to the hospital. I had a seizure while I was asleep. I’m okay, I just hurt my left shoulder. It hurts here and there. They took x-rays and said I’ll be fine. I’m still not getting the medication for my heart. Nothing new with these people.

( Sonni’s note: That makes me so angry that they are allowed to do this. Why is that even the rights the inmates are supposed to have, the prisons don’t have to follow, People in our government know they aren’t being followed, and people get hurt or die because of their negligence. I don’t get it.)

The medication for my seizures was changed. They can’t stop giving me that one. They can’t screw with that diagnoses and say I don’t that medication. With the change in this medication, I’ll see if it helps. the other medication was giving me bad headaches. I was taken off it. So far so good.

Oh, just so you know I received all the books you sent me except for one. Something with the subject matter they didn’t like. It’s okay. There’s a lot of good books here.

( Sonni’s note: I sent him 30 books from an website that sends books to inmates. http://imailtoprisons.com.   You can send new books and used books and its already approved by the prisons. Who cares if they are used? It will keep him reading for quite awhile and then he’ll read them all again. He asked if I could send him some Westerns. He had never said he was interested in that. Why not? Fortunately there were some Westerns in the lot. He said he was going to save them for last. I guess it is like eating dessert last. Save the best until last. I got a laugh out of that.)

I also got the big envelope with the book chapters you wrote for Inside The Forbidden Outside. I’m waiting to get some stamps so I can answer your questions. I also received a few letters from people who read the blog. It was really good to hear from other people. It makes me feel as though there are people who care and I didn’t feel so alone.  I got a couple letters from a woman named Leah.  She said she talks to you a lot online.  Another lady is Kelly Sherrell.  I’m waiting to get stamps so I can write back to them.

I really enjoy everything you sent in the big envelope.  That is some strong stuff you are writing. You know, it always good to hear when you are doing good.  But remember some things can be fixed and some things can’t.  Just like with these guards with the way they treat me  me and the shit I give them back.  It’s wrong on both our ends.  Someone has to be the bigger person and I see it’s going to have to be me, because the system doesn’t care nor do the people who works for them.  I’ve been through a lot and I’m tired, so I want you to know something.  This might upset you a bit, however I think this is the best thing for me, okay? I’ve been placed back in ad seg (another term for solitary confinement)  As of right now I’m waiting to be sent to another unit because they don’t have ad seg here – only G5 (that is really no different either.  It’s a classification, but you are still in lock down 23 hours a day and get served your meals through a slot in the door and have no communication with anyone. ) So I’m waiting to leave.  Please don’t be mad.  I could still make parole in ad seg, but I have to get my line class back and that will take a year.  Also inmates that go to ad seg get a lot help as far as programs and school when we get out.  I feel this will be a new start and I will get a lot out of this, mom, really.

solitary confinement, Jamie Cummings, ad seg, behind glass visitation
Jamie Cummings in Prison Whites

I’ve sat here and read your letter over and over about how to keep my mouth shut, however it was already too late.  I did this to myself and it hurts me to tell you I’m going back to ad seg. because I know it is something you don’t want.  I understand if you want to stop writing to me. (fat chance of that happening!)  Just know that I will try and I’ll keep trying, okay?  I won’t give up.

Please give me a little time.  I will beat this.  I’m going to overcome myself.  I feel that this would help me more.  They offer a lot to us when we get out of the seg program.  I know I can do it.  I’ve done it before.

One of the officers broke my ID so I can’t go to commissary and it will take me three weeks to get another one.  One of the dudes in here got some stuff for me that I needed, and I will be able to get it back to him when I get my new ID.

I won’t give up.  Like you always said, it’s two steps forward and 1 1/2 steps back.  Everything happens for a reason.  It is what I learn about myself that counts.  Sometimes when something looks like a bad thing, there is something good inside it to learn.  I have to learn  how to overcome my anger.  I know I get angry fast and if I don’t learn why it happens and how to control it, it will get me into trouble when I get out.  I want to have a good life when I get out, so I have to work on these things now.  There is a reason for this.  I can’t blame nobody else but myself.  Like you said many times, to be happy I need to understand cause and effect.  I need to make better causes to get better effects.

I need to get this in the mail.  I love you, mom.  I love you always

Jamie    Merry Christmas

(Sonni’s note:  my response to this will be in another post)

http://facebook.com/jamielifeinprison . . .Blog posts and news about injustice in the world

About SoundCloud – Click on my face to bring up all 12 music pieces. Use headphones to listen in you can or you lose the richness of the piano tones. Otherwise it sounds tinny.  My Newest piece is titled “Sending All My Love To You” It should be at the top of the list. I am using Soundcloud now instead of inserting a music player. I only ask that if you like it, let me know.  I only know by the stats, just like blogging. Share it or like it or leave a comment if you want. Getting feedback helps me a lot and when someone is a newbie at a site like this it encourages others to listen as well. There are 12 music pieces there. I put them on my first CD for my mother to play and share with friends. When you aren’t a computer person it doesn’t help to tell someone to go to a computer to listen to it! I enjoy creating music. I hope you enjoy listening to it.

2 thoughts on “In Prison There is No Way To Win From Losing

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