all races of prisoners

What happens to kids when they are raised without love? Craving to have someone who thinks they matter and rarely finding what they seek. Some were babies separated from parents at birth. Parents might have died. Some were raised in the hell of abuse and drug addicted parents and never felt safe loving arms rocking them asleep at night. What did they learn about raising a child?

Children of all ages get pushed from foster home to foster home. Many miss their parents, even the bad ones, the drinkers and the addicts, because no matter what, they have a bond and love them, unless of course they beat them. They want their parents to be okay and come take them home, wherever that is because without love a little bit of who they could have become dies every day. Callouses grow over their feelings, because to care means painful messages are sent to their minds every day telling them they are no good. They are unlovable. There isn’t a soul in the world that genuinely cares about their lives.

Are they hungry?  Do they need help with homework? Would they like to have something to wear that doesn’t look like it came from a sale rack at the back of a thrift store no one else wanted? Do many foster parents see them as free money for themselves so they never provide the child with decent necessities? They look like a child no one wanted. They could cram all they owned into a beat up back pack. I cry for these children. Do you?

Source: Michael Korchia on Flickr

If they wanted to learn who would encourage them? Who would notice if they did a good job at anything? Who would ask them what they wanted to be when they grew up or do they only hear words that remind them they are no one and completely unloved.

They are often sexually abused as children and many teens are raped by their “parents” at will. Why not, it’s not incest and a young nubile body in the next room is a powerful aphrodisiac to a lazy drunk in a recliner cashing a check for “raising” a child no one wants. They know when their caseworker is coming to inspect their home so they make it presentable and fool them once again, of course they love being foster parents. The kids are great. The workers know that all is not as it seems, but if they remove the child, or children, they have to find them another home  probably just as bad. They were so jammed. So many children and not enough case workers or homes to put them in. It would take more hours out of a day when they had no more time to give. So they say, “Have a nice,” and hope for the best. The child sneaks out his window with his backpack of clothes and money he stole from his guardian. After all, the money was supposed to be spent on his care. Does this describe all foster care parents?  No, but it describes enough of them that it creates a huge problem for the lives of these children.

From home to home these kids had been pushed.  There was no “parenting.” The children became uncontrollable because they were tired of being abused and trusted no one. Because cops are being used in schools with no counsellors so they are pulled in to juvenile court. “Are you going to behave?” Too many kids and not enough resources to help them means they are put back into the hands of unworthy foster parents or back to the streets until something bad enough happens to send them away juvenile prison. Don’t kid yourself. Prison is prison no matter how old you are.

Most of these children are ruined for life. Is this what the right to lifers had in mind when they said every fetus or clump of cells had a right to life? Or did they honestly think these unwanted babies would grow up happy, go to college, get married and prosper? Really? Get a life.

I ask you, how was this child supposed to survive? Work a job? How, he was never in a school long enough to get an education so the drop out rate from school is high. He’s surly and cocky, His barrier to protect the part of him that wants to cry begins to crumble. He can’t do that, he has to stay tough. He’s angry at the world for dealing him this deck of cards. Where are all the people who demanded his drug addict mother HAD to give him the right to life. She didn’t care. He was born addicted and never had a day like the ones he saw on TV commercials when parents lovingly cared for their fake children. What a joke.

“I was born!” he screamed.”Now what am I supposed to do? Where are you now? Is this what you were thinking when you protested I had the right to life!” Okay, he’s alive but the path he’s on isn’t a choice he made. He had to eat. He had to steal. He needed to survive the only way he could. He hung with other kids like him. Getting high was his only relief from this ugly world.

He aged out of the juvy system. He tried to get a job. Only one place hired him because he had no GED. But he didn’t understand how to push himself to make it to work on time to do something he hated. He was fired. He met a girl who had lived a life like his and they clung to each other in a life raft built for one. She became pregnant and for a short while he felt happiness, not thinking, how will I care for someone when I don’t know how to take care of myself? does love conquer all?  Not in the real world.

To provide for his family, buy diapers and food, a minimum wage job would not have paid the rent. He didn’t understand why his life became what it did so he can’t get off the path created for him. You can’t know what you’ve never been taught. His life of small crimes of theft and dealing drugs eventually pulled him into adult court. Mandatory minimum sentencing gave him a sentence that took him into middle age. CPA took away his child because they determined the mother couldn’t raise him. Love was not enough and they gave her no help. Within 6 months they forced her to permanently give up her parental rights to the child she gave birth to and under no circumstances could she get him back. Nor could she ever see him or know where he was. It was like he died. She grieved. She had done the best she could.

What are we doing wrong? Who will take responsibility for the lives of these children? I understand the rational of both sides of abortion. But one law is not in the best welfare of every case. If you fought for the birth of a group of fertilized cells and you knew ahead of time the person would have a horrible life and end up in prison because as a child he want loved the way you imagined he would be, would you fight just as hard for that life? If he grew angry enough to hurt lives would you yell, “The death sentence!” just as vehemently as you protested against abortion? “He could have made other choices!”  Could he? You can’t have it both ways. If you fight for him to be born then fight for him to have a life. Don’t look the other way when he is kicked to the curb over and over.  If you demand there be no abortions then DO SOMETHING actively to help these unaborted babies have a life worth living.

80% of all adult prison inmates were “raised” in foster care

 

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