From The Bottom Of My Heart

 

thank-you-so-much

Over the last two years I have met many wonderful people who have followed this blog and my other one Watch and Whirl

FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART  by Sonni Quick copyright 2016

My one regret is not being able to follow as many of these blogs as I would like to. I try to go to two or three a day. There are so many that have blogs with worthwhile things to say. If I only had my blogs to keep up with I would be able to spend more time reading and I often feel guilty because I can’t get back to blogs in a timely manner. I do a lot of writing to other inmates, too and work on the book is intense.

I have had wonderful support from people on this blog for Jamie. This is not a fun blog to read. How does one “like” a post that is about something that makes you angry. I try not to think of liking it because you actually like it, but because you appreciate the knowledge, and then share it with other people you think need to know. There are still so many people who don’t realize that prison is not what you see on TV. Shows are not going to tell you the truth about the inhumane treatment for the same reason it is hard to prosecute a cop when he abuses minorities. The media needs to keep up the premise that guards and cops are good guys. I think many guards and cops start out as good guys but get turned by the authority they have and no one stops them.

Thank you to those who have taken the time to read the first draft of chapters of the book I’m writing, “Inside The Forbidden Outside”. What a project it has been. I have learned so much. I think I am about half way. I now need a story editor to help me get it in order so it makes sense. For those of you who have gotten to “know” Jamie, he needs all the help he can get. If I can make enough money to get him a parole attorney so hopefully he won’t have to do all of the remaining seven years it would be wonderful. Or if there could be money waiting to help him get on his feet, that would be great as well. There are also things he needs that I pay out of pocket for – his books and educational materials, his medical fee, a new fan because the prison he was moved from sent a broken one and summer is starting in Texas. The prisons get over 100 degrees for months at a time. Someone stole his radio, his dictionary set with also a grammar book and thesaurus and world almanac. The prison also kept 19 books, most of which I just bought for him along with other special books he had been saving. They also kept his hygiene products and stamps he had just bought at the commissary right before they moved him. Thank goodness they gave him his pictures and letters.

I have never asked anyone for help before, but there is no one I can go to. His family won’t help. I did ask them once but nothing came of it.  If there is anyone who can send him ten or twenty dollars, it would also help me. I live on a disability check and it only goes so far.  I buy him books or send money to use at the commissary.  I know everyone is getting hit up ten times a day from all kinds of political sites asking for money and many of them seem like worth causes.  But still, I needed to try.  You can send it through jpay.com. It goes right onto his account. His medical fee is almost paid off for the year so that is good.  Only $35 to go.  His name is James Cummings. His ID is 1368189. That is all you need. You will be able to send a note with the money like a tweet. You can leave your name and address if you want to hear back from him.

He didn’t ask me to do this. My asking you this was spontaneous as I began typing this note of thanks. You can also send him emails at this site for the cost of a stamp. When someone is locked up alone in a solitary cell with NO communication with anyone, these letters are a lifeline. It helps battle insanity because people are not meant to have this much loneliness.

But again, most of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart, Sonni

blood tears

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“A Person Can Have More Than One Mom,” His Mother Tells Me.

(Sonni’s note: before you get to the end of this letter you will see evidence of what I have been saying about the lack of decent medical care. Simple procedures for people in pain. They will not do anything they can get away with not doing – and that is medical among other things. It screws up their profit margin)

Nov, 29, 2010
Hello Mom, Good Evening,

So how are you doing? Fine I hope. As for me, well, I’m a lot better now that I’m out of lockdown. As for the trouble part. I’m in a cell by myself. I could be here for two or three months before I get moved. So I’m not worried about the trouble part right now, mom. Only when the time comes for me to move. However, I’m sure I’ll know how to handle the situation when it comes, mom.

As for the phone privileges, yes ma’am, it’s the one thing I pray we could get around to.It would mean a lot to me to be able to speak to you, Megan and the kids. They will only do land lines. Cell phones they won’t let us call ( Sonni:s note: That rule was changed recently and they do allow cell phones, perhaps because many people no longer have land lines. ) Well, it’s been over two years not this has been going on. The system is crazy. Officers bring in all kinds of stuff. Yes, even cell phones. Anyway, two years ago one of the inmates called the governor. They sent him and his family threats. It may seem like it has nothing to do with outgoing calls, However the lady said they can’t keep up with all the cell calls. I think it’s because not all of them are contract lines. They can’t keep up with the prepaid phones. So I’m sure they’re not going to let it happen. The only way for me to call to Pa is to put your mother on my list. I don’t want to put you through that trouble. Oh, you’re on my visitors list. Actually, you’ve been on it over a year now. I was hoping you was going to come to the prison and visit one day when you come to visit Megan and the kids. ( Sonni: note: it was exactly three more years before I was able to make that visit. I am hoping to go back this coming Sept, two years after that visit. )

Yes, it would be nice to get transferred closer to home. The weather, it gets chilly down here. It has snowed a few times as well. This prison has no heat.

it's okay to have more than one mom,Jamie Cummings, prison visits
photo credit: bing.com

Family, well nothing has changed. I wrote my brother and mom the same time I wrote you. Neither one have yet to write back. So much for help. I guess I need to give them more time. If they don’t write this week I know they probably aren’t going to. Sometimes I think they won’t write me because they don’t want me to ask for help. however, I know they will help me if they can. So I’m really trying to find out why they don’t write. Maybe I’ll find out later. Right now I have to concentrate on getting home.

( Sonni’s note: he’s still waiting for that help to come. After nine years, I don’t think it’s going to happen. On the spur of the moment, before I lost my nerve, and because I didn’t want to make it worse for him, two days ago I wrote to his mother. It was a nice text. I didn’t have her address. I talked to her one time recently about Jamie’s early life for the book I’m writing and it was a good conversation. We talked for two hours. So I wrote to her and told her I was having trouble paying the prison medical fee this year, $100, so he can call for a doctor when he needs it, because of his medical problems. medical is not free. Everyone has to pay that $100, and since many people can’t, they don’t don’t ask to see a doctor even when they are really sick because going even one time cost $100. Once it is paid then he can use it for the rest of the year. But if you have no one to pay it for you, you’re up the crick without a paddle. I’m sure he has already told her this, so I don’t know if my asking will do any good. It’s not a lot of money, except that I only have a disability check and I also send a little money for commissary and maybe a couple books. I have covered all the things he has needed by myself. I thought, what can she do? Get angry because I asked her if she would help pay for something for her son? Feel guilty for allowing me to take care of something family should at the very least help pay? This is why he calls me “Mom”. Because I took over the role of being his mother. She knows he calls me mom and said it’s okay. “A person can have more than one mom.” she says. At least I got past that hurdle. I didn’t know how she would take it knowing he called me mom. I guess he wrote to her and told her himself because she already knew. I wasn’t trying to alienate her. I’ve been trying to fill a very big hole. She will always be his mother and will love her no matter what. It’s just hard on me to hear him be so despondent at times because I know how much he wants to hear from her, and waits and waits and waits. Every child, no matter how old he gets, at times, wants his mother. He wants her to say that it’s going to be okay and it helps him get through another day. Severe depression in prison is very common. I haven’t heard anything back from her yet. yet.)

About commissary – yes, there are a lot of people who are like me. Also there are people who trade and sell hygiene products for goods. There are some whose family cares and some that don’t. I want to thank you personally for caring mom (thank you). No, I didn’t have nobody to help me with my attorney. I was talking to some dude about my case. They said I could try to get a time cut. As I was talking to them I remember my brother saying something about ten years. The thing is I was never told nothing about ten years. So I’m going to try and get a time cut. They will help me in the law library. Hopefully it would help. If not there’s nothing wrong with trying.

I feel it’s always been hard. Not just for blacks but for everyone. There’s a lot that makes it hard for everyone. Things like school, family, work and society. It’s the way life is hard. and stressful. Life isn’t easy, you’re right. We all go through struggles. We’ll make it through it. I’ve been riding it out for five years now. I pray that things will change.

About my knee. I don’t know what’s wrong with it. When it swells up it stays swollen for like a month and a half. It goes down and then swells back up. it’s crazy. Sharp pain over my knee cap. It’s both knees but I have more problem with my right. I stretch it all the time. I told the doctor it needs to be drained. SHE SAID,”THEY WON’T DO IT.” ( caps are Sonni’s) Well, I need to get this in the door before they pick up mail.

Love always, Son
P.S. Thank you Mom