Ad Seg is Solitary confinement – The Prison keeps us here

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(Sonni’s note:  This is a repost from an early post a year ago with some catchups.  To get it into the right social media channels because i knew so little about it then, if you had read the earlier version and wondered why it is here again.  It is a compilation of things he wrote about in several letters that were written in 2012. It is now 2015. They had found a way to send him back again. Hopefully this will be a shorter time, but still they took away everything he worked for, swallowing his pride and letting them say what they wanted – to be “good” but you can never be good enough. They find a way, and if they don’t they make it up. So you understand, Ad Seg is about as low as you can go. It’s also called G5, administrative segregation and solitary confinement. It’s the hole. It’s a place where you have no privileges. You never touch another human being. You are behind glass if you have a visitor. You learn to love peanut butter because it’s a large portion of your diet. You will be treated as though you are worthless. You will be called names. You will be degraded. People will want to hurt you if you give them the opportunity. You are alone. Really alone with yourself. If you don’t have anyone who cares, or if you don’t like yourself very much, you’re going to have a hard time making it. Depression sets in. Many hear voices and hurt themselves. Some speak so little they lose the ability to talk. They get paranoid. Jamie knew, when they threw him back in there in 2012, all because of the lie from a guard who wanted to prove he could mess with him, that it was going to take at least another couple years before they’d let him out. He was right.

The only good thing about solitary, also called “the hole” is that he was safe from other inmates. But it doesn’t take much to break prison rules. There is no justice in prison. In addition to the guards, you have to be careful, there are violent prisoners who have nothing to lose who are going to try to mess with your life. How do you deal with it when someone comes up and puts themselves in your face and challenges you? It could be someone who wants be granted prison favors. Someone claims that your space belongs to them and they will try to take it from you. If they get away with it and you don’t try to stop them you are going to be in a whole different world of hurt from other inmates.)

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Hello mom,

No matter what I do, they always find a way to send me back. It took a couple years to get up to G4 the last time when I could to go to rec and watch TV and go to chow. But being allowed out of here means there’s gonna to be people, even guards who want to mess with me. But being allowed out of my cell is a kind of freedom. I can’t get out of here if I don’t get into a program.

It is so hard sitting in my cell day after day, trying to find ways to make the hours go by. I write letters but mostly I throw them away. It’s how I get my feelings out. But hardly anyone writes back but you. Once in awhile I get a letter from my sister or my cousin but not my mom. When I make it to G2 I can have contact visit. I can hug my son. At G2 I can make a phone call and I’ve never been able to make one. I would be able to take classes and learn things. I can be with people. I don’t think they want me to be able to do that. I will never be able to make parole unless I can show I’ve taken classes. But they won’t let me do that now. They don’t like to give black people parole. The longer they keep me here the more they make off me. They don’t care one bit if I am ever “rehabilitated”. Use ’em up, throw ’em out and pick ’em up again. You’re never free.

The last time I only made it to G4 for a short time. It took years to get that far. I was jumped and the officer even saw it, but I still caught a case for it. She even wrote that she saw the other dude hit me first, but there is a rule that if you swing at all, even if it is defending yourself, you get a case. I tried to avoid him twice but he was right on me and I was next to the fence and had nowhere to go. He was coming from breakfast really early one day and I had a chance to get him back, but I let it go. I wrote an appeal to try and get the case turned over and get my G4 rating back again, but I never heard anything back. So I’m playing the waiting game again. I wanted to cry. I have been going through this for so long it just hurts. Maybe in six months to a year I can get it back. ( Sonni’s note: It took until August 2014 to get out of solitary confinement, Ad Seg, G5)

But it doesn’t matter how hard I try. There is always something waiting to drag me back down again. I know that’s gonna happen. I have to see it and not react. I have to try harder not to let anyone make me do something I know will get me in trouble. I have a temper. Push me enough and I lose control. But I don’t have anything to prove to these people. I don’t have to prove I’m tough. If I don’t fight back next time it doesn’t mean that I’m a pussy. It means I have more to lose than they do. I have to do what is good for me. I have to remember that the next time someone gets in my face.

There is No Such Thing as Justice in Prison

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( For the inmates in white jumpsuits, no matter what you do, you can’t win. There is no such thing as justice in prison. The inmate is always wrong and the guards are always right. If someone wants you locked up for their own petty reasons, you can’t stop them. Officers lie for each other, and make things up they say an inmate does, and uses the inmates, often just to get back at someone they don’t like. There is nothing an inmate can do about it. They can tell whatever lie they want, and get you thrown in lockup because you disagreed with them. Arguing with an officer is a rule you’re not allowed to break, even if you’re in the right. The reason doesn’t matter, it’s the fact that you argued, is the rule breaker. You can’t defend yourself in any way. A guard will push and push to try and make an inmate lose his cool. In this case, you’ll see they’ll hold a hearing and it isn’t necessary for you to be there. Someone who wasn’t there will stand in your place and say whatever someone else wants him to say. Since you aren’t allowed in the room you have no idea what’s been said, they just escort you to lockup. If this was the first time this happened maybe there would be room for doubt, but it isn’t, and has cost years of a life.  In between the two hearings he was able to get to a phone call to me before they cut off his ability to make a phone call, to tell me they were going to revoke all of his privileges. The brand new privileges that he finally got for the first time in years. We had two weeks where he was able to call me. Then after the 2nd case was heard and I didn’t hear from him again so I knew knew, for sure, I wasn’t going to hear from him again.  He’ll have to work his way back up to level G2 again. The hard part is that it stopped his application for his GED or for any other kind of classes. How are the inmates supposed to work to better themselves so they have a chance of survival when they get out if they don’t allow them the possibility of take any classes.  It sounds deliberate to me. Don’t you think, after more than 4 years of solitary so far, and the first two times were cases completely fabricated, and now this one, because verbally he defended himself over something he felt in the right to discuss, it is a bit too harsh. They do this to everyone.  Set them up for failure. They don’t want the inmates to make it on the outside. They want that revolving door to have greased wheels. Send them out and kick them back in. Well seasoned inmates who know the ropes. Keep the money coming in for the sake of the corporations that own them.


Feb 27 2015
Hello Mom, How are you? In the best of health I pray. Right now it’s 12:08 and I’ve been placed in lockup. I’m not sure for how long, but probably not as long as the other times. I’m sorry, mom. I’m not going to keep nothing from you. I tried hard. I did, but I let my anger get the best of me.  I broke a prison rule.  I defended myself against lies from guards. I fought so long to keep my temper in check, but I let it get the best of me and spit fire at the officers, only to get two cases. I can understand you being angry with me cause I’m angry at myself right now, too. I’m not allowed to have nothing, not even visits I don’t think.  My visits were revoked and I don’t know for how long. I got a letter from Melvin yesterday saying he was going to come and visit this weekend. ( Sonni’s note: Melvin is Buddhist friend from Onalaska,Texas who makes the drive to see him every month or two to help keep him encouraged. He’s been visiting for about a year now and has been a good friend and mentor.) Please call him and tell him to call the prison and make sure he can visit before he makes the drive.

I’m writing the captain up. She denied me the right to attend the hearing with the officers I had the problem with. Her and her boyfriend. They tried for three days to contact her at home. She never picked up the phone. So I was going to ask for the case to be dismissed. Instead, the captain told me to leave. She ran the case without me. She denied me the right to question the charging officer about the case as well. If you are in white (jumpsuit) this is what they do.

Right now they have 26 guys locked up because two dudes was fighting. They locked them up and put a riot case on them all. They go to their hearing and all, but get their case dismissed, because an officer tells the captain what happens. However, the Major makes them rewrite the cases all over and makes the officer be a witness on the case and he has no idea what happened. This is how they work at keeping us in here. Don’t get me wrong. I messed up, but how can someone just do people that way? They have inmates writing request forms on other inmates saying their life is in danger. The name they put on the form, they will lock them up for months, even though they didn’t do anything. They also write them up saying people are trying to escape, and of course these people lock them up, too, and place them under investigation. Crazy. huh? This is just a bit of what’s going on. They would let an inmate tell them anything just to lock up another inmate. A lot of these inmates make up lies and tell the major in return for some kind of favor. Yes, these things are going on. This place is almost the3 same as being in the free world. All of the things that goes on out there goes on in here as far as bullshit.

Oh, I got the books you and Melvin sent. I haven’t started reading them but I will tomorrow. I promise I will.

Just remember, I love you, Son

(Sonni’s note:  the following day, as I was reading i came across this article I put at Google+.  I decided to put it here as well because this woman, Keri Blakinger who you can follow on twitter, talks about the same think, from a white woman’s perspective.  Since there are many white people who STILL think there are more black people in prison because they do more crimes, and white people are just better people I decided to add  this article for you to read.